I was sitting at the bar the other night (big surprise, I know) talking with my Cuban boss, Pedro. He was asking me in quite broken English if I was religious. I answered, "well, not really. Actually not at all." His response was, "So you don't know The Mister?" Took me a few minutes to realize that "El Senor" Means mister and lord in Spanish. "No I guess I don't know the Mister, sorry." "Dat's okay my friend, need some gasolina?" "Gasolina" is the codeword for rum. "Si," I replied, "necesito llenar el tanque ahorita!" Fill'er up! Currently enjoying a second break of the day seeing as my right eye has puffed up nearly closed. Went swimming in the ocean today on my afternoon break. The water is crystal clear with a white sand bottom and I was swimming along the seafloor at about 10-12 ft deep. Needing air I rose to the surface only to find it covered with bright red jellyfish about an inch long wildly puslating, blanketing the surface. I hadn't seen it before as they were over some seagrass and the colors blended. Next thing I know I've been stung and now the eye is shut. Such is the danger of life in the Caribbean. Oh well, the price you have to pay I guess. I haven't put on pants (other than shorts of course) in 2 weeks, and haven't worn shoes other than flipflops in about the same amount of time. There is a bus that takes me (and the hypergay cook who tells me every night that he wants a gringo for sex but not a Mongoloid looking one like me) from my work to my place in the evening. Last night there was a party on one of the balconies at the hotel and sure enough, there was the driver, Chicho, a huge black guy with a beer in his hand and a shot glass. I shouted at him that it was time to go and his response was, "Ya Mon! Jus lemme trow down dis rum right quick an yous an I outa here! Two minutes mon!" Fifteen minutes later he shows up, gives me a high five and shouts, "All right now mon! We goin take you home record time!" Last Saturday night I spent a quite memorable evening at the Hip-Hop Club, which only plays reggae. I was at the bar with my English friend Guy, when a local girl I know came up and asked me to dance. Seeing as how I was pickled and she posesses many of the attributes prized by the superficial man, I consented. We dance for approx. 20 seconds whereupon she grabbed her orca-fat friend who started going crazy grinding her HUGE black ass on my crotch at about 150 rpm. This continued for about another 20 seconds whereupon she turned around suddenly and shoved her hand in my face and danced away. I stood dumbfounded at the whole chainof events while Guy was laughing so hard he spilled half his beer. From start to finish the whole thing took under a minute. Ended up staying there until 4 am when my ride over to the other side of the island, with whom I was dancing, told me that we should go back to town or she was going to throw up because she couldn't stop drinking as long as she was at the bar. Such is one week in the life of Roatan