My friend Jeff from Portland looked over at me yesterday and remarked, "You know we've been down here for waaayyy too long when this doesn't seem all that weird." I agreed. We had gone out to the nearby town of San Andreas Itzapa, driven by another friend of mine named Billy in his pickup (or picóp, en español). We arrived safely after a drive of about thirty minutes which was neatly punctuated near the end of the journey by our nearly being forced off the road and into a cornfield ...

There are choices in Guatemalan transportation. Many travelers prefer to move from town to town via minibus shuttles carrying no more than ten or twelve people at a time. The more budget conscious among us navigate by a more rustic method; the oh so aptly named “Chicken Busses”. The chicken busses get their name from the propensity of fellow travelers to carry with them on their persons live animals (not necessarily chickens) either trussed or non-trussed. On my travels I have seen severa...

Anyways, had a new experience last night. The Latin American abhorrence to silence hasmany manifestations. One of the most, well, annoying is a good word,expressions of this fear of quiet is the extremely liberal use offireworks. Last night I was in Antigua, and was told that there wouldbe a religious procession going past the "Hotel A Nice Place to Stay".Thinking that it would be just some fellows carrying a statue with abrass band and some priests and middle aged ladies walking behind, out ...

There are proper and improper ways to climb Guatemalan volcanoes. I have climbed only one, and unfortunately I chose an improper method. Volcán Acatenango is located about an hour from Antigua, where I reside. That is, it is an hour if you know the proper way to get there. Alternately you can go in a gigantic arc and take two and a half hours to get there. I was first approached about joining the planned mission at approximately 6 pm and my response was essentially, “What, are you kidding? ...

I was sitting at the bar the other night (big surprise, I know) talkingwith my Cuban boss, Pedro. He was asking me in quite broken English ifI was religious. I answered, "well, not really. Actually not at all."His response was, "So you don't know The Mister?" Took me a few minutesto realize that "El Senor" Means mister and lord in Spanish. "No Iguess I don't know the Mister, sorry." "Dat's okay my friend, need somegasolina?" "Gasolina" is the codeword for rum. "Si," I replied,"necesito l...

There are upsides and downsides to living on a Caribbean island of the coast of Honduras. One of the downsides is having to have your wisdom teeth pulled while living there. One of the upsides is that it is quite cheap to do so (US$ 24), and you get to listen to blasting reggae while they are being pulled out. Yes, the dentist was singing along to "Spanishtown" by Sean Paul who was rapping half in Spanish and half in English, both of which were well nigh on incomprehensible given my drugged s...

Well in true silly adventure Guatemalan style I recieved my dad´s package of books from Guatemala City and have safely returned to Antigua. Went into the city with Raul the owner of my hotel. We ran a few errands in the city and then ventured down to Zona Uno, which is a combination of all the government offices and the Presidential Palace and main cathedral as well as the worst ghetto in Guatemala City outside of Zona 18 (which must be just godawful if it is worse than Zona 1). We first had ...

So the story of how I came to end up bribing a Honduran customs agent with a pair of lime green polyester pants really begins in February. I was living in a trailer (yes I can actually claim that, can you?) at Valerie´s Budget Youth Hostel on Roatan when quite possibly the most annoying person I have ever met also stayed there for a few days. His name was Brian and not surprisingly he was Canadian. Brian, as he rather incessantly tells everyone, sells clothes throughout Central America. Crap...